When I first started working with new moms, I expected many of the challenges to be around adjusting to lack of sleep, feeling worried about the new baby, or having fights with their partners. While those factors are struggles, what I didn’t expect is that being a new mom stirs up all of our stuff, past and present. When I thought about it though, it totally makes sense.
Why does having a baby stir up our stuff?
When we have a child, we start thinking about what kind of parents we want to be. We think about what we want to model to our children.
We think about our childhoods and what we want to repeat and what we do not.
We reflect on our youth and might realize that some things were not right. We might think about hard stuff we haven’t thought about in years.
We think about the larger world and the context in which our children will be growing up.
We think about the tragic events in the news and feel more affected by sad news that involves children.
Having a child makes us look at what’s important to us. It makes us reflect on our childhoods and think deeply about who we want to be in the future. It's no wonder that it stirs up our stuff.