For many of us, it’s easy to be drawn into the world of “shoulds”. We get messages from our parents, our friends, our teachers, and our coworkers around the way we “should” be living our lives. This can be having the “right” job, dating the “right” person (or dating at all for that matter), looking the “right” way, or having the “right” kind of house or apartment. It’s easy to let these “shoulds” creep into our mind and make us feel inadequate.
The thing is, we’re never going to meet the requirements for everyone else’s “shoulds”. If you find yourself living in the world of “shoulds”, here are a few questions you can ask yourself to bring yourself back:
- Where is this “should” coming from? Is it a message you’ve heard from someone else?
When you really think about it, do you actually agree with this “should”?
What do you find important in your life? What are the values that are most important to you?
What are some of your life goals? Are they in line with your values?
When you start feeling your mind is full of “shoulds”, I suggest taking a step back. Ask yourself the above questions. You might find out that the “should” isn’t really that important to you, even if it’s incredibly important to your mom or friend. Once we clarify what’s important to us, it’s easier for us to not give the “shoulds” so much power.